Yes! Blogskin finally up!
Encountered some technical difficulties just now.


What have I been doing today?
renovate Restaurant City & Blogskin.
no choice
too bad
open book close book
hungry
going out
will wait till 4am and order mcd breakfast!



with lots of love,
Sheena

needs

What's for the coming week

Mon - PAcc ICA
Tues - Acesss ICA, EffWs ICA
Wed - Macro ICA

what could have been worse?
I need to find myself back
Stop thinking of unneccesary stuffs
*puff cheeks*


Very much want to change blogskin
Found one already
Very much want to change it now
Priority
It is going to take quite a bit of time
Dreams
I'm coming for you
First - studies always comes first
I think I've been too ambitious
Stressing myself too much
Giving too much pressure to myself
Hence Breakdown
Wants to quit school very much to fufil my dreams
but things would be better with a degree - sigh
Busy
Random
Mind swaying
Mind wandering all over
Random
Random
Random

needs

I wanted to share with you this but.........



I went opposite moments ago after I blogged.
I was happy then. Seems to me like a fresh start, a brand new day after all my rants. Sadly, this must happen. Chest began to hurt. like contracting alot especially under the sun. Sigh....

Initial plan was just to get biscuits plus milo. As I go around, obviously I took what I desire. =D Bought cornflakes, milk, cup noodles (so I don't have to bother to cook), bread. Think thats about it.

Pondering, Since I'm alrd opposite, might as well packet food home instead of eat junk food. Then again, while buying chicken rice, I thought I might as well get a bowl of lotus soup. and there again, I might as well sit there, relax, and happily enjoy my meal. Or should I get a drink
? Auntie came & I said Barley. Haa... Sooth my heatyness..
Enjoy such life... Peacefulness.. Watching the crowd..
Wish Baby was here with me


As I sat there, I was thought, maybe I should go get somemore MC seems I'm still unwell.
Nahhh.. I will ruin my whole semester. Left with a happy heart. While walking back home, headache. Whenever I turn my head, it is like slow reaction. I don't know how to put it. My stomach was uncomfortable somehow or rather. This happened ever since the day I fallen sick. Not sure whats wrong also. Chest hurts again. Seems to me like contracting alot till there wasn't any air. Took seconds before I can take another deep breather again. Well, my body is weak since young. Can't blame it. Just got to take more tonic,rest more and take good care of myself.
*Temporary thought: I have more of Mummy's gene. XD



such a good weather. great for cycling!!! =((

needs

it ended.
shall write down before I bring myself back.



stress, worries, problems that I am unable to manage anymore.

More so after Uncle Roland's incident, I became even wary of my family.
worries that problems would just come again non-stop.
Called Mummy ytd asking how is she doing, ask her out and everything.
Just want to know that she is fine.
Then again, I stay in the room the whole day just to wait for my parents to sleep but they did not. Knowingly, guess what? They was watching Drama? till 3 plus still haven't sleep? For the first time?!! and Yes. They caught sight of me. Out of the blue, asked me. "Sheena, you miss home isit?" I was shocked to not know what to reply. Were they eavesdropping on our conversation? or what? .. Com'on this question has made me miserable enough alrd. Please be more Sensitive lah.. & they said "you want to go home you can go home lah" <-- like I don't wished to??!! & I will on 21 DEC!! So each time, Mummy would asked me 'Marlene leh? how is she doing?' I would replied 'she is fine. sleeping like a pig now' I have been using this excuse for months!! Dad's side ask me Mum's also ask me. Sometimes, I'm seriously out of solution. I think back. What's more can I LIE? How much more do I want to LIE? Another dog will do it? What a joke. James & Uncle bought things for Marlene. Sis also bought things for Marlene. & that was months ago yet I was still unable to let her have it. Great Great. Nonetheless. I won't even mention a single thing to you. Because in your current world, Everything you think now is RIGHT! GOD DAMN IT!!!


studies.. I set aside 3 days to study. Fri Sat Sun. Enough time for me to study for my Macro, Effws, and complete all my tutorials. Unfortunately, Fri night, after bathing, I was feeling so unwell that my initial meet up for study was cancelled etc. I thought maybe I was need a rest. Spare me another half a day & I will be fine. like few days ago. Wrong. I had Fever running up and down. Throat was soaring PAIN. Swallowing saliva hurts. Friend came over to look after me. Bought my fav whipped potato for me but I really have no appetitite. Sighh.. & parents just want to keep on adding to my probs. Keep talking to me! For F? %&^%^*& Midnight. Fever ran up to 40 degress. I was wondering, has my thermometer gone wrong or what? Couldn't take it anymore. Went to see doctor. He diagnose it was throat infection. Baby took care of me meticulously. Forced me to eat porridge in which latter vomitted out. I had MC up till tues. Gave me a chance to study for my test. But I missed Lec. I'm going to get debarred. For sure. attendance hit 85%. sighh..
Back home, stepmum asked me so what's the prob. told her throat infection. Show it to her. & she tell me there must be a reason for fever to occur. When you're sick, you should consult doctor immediately. LIKE I KNOW WHAT IS THE PROB. LIKE I CAN DIAGNOSE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!?? (sighh.. why am I so moody) Peace lah Peace lah.. Maybe I should just quite studies & work in Mediacorp or Airline or something. Then again, Mum words would always linger around my mind. 'I know you can'..................................... Deep sighh..
Anyway, I'm alright now. Infection still there. Still hurts.. Don't know when will it go off..



Baby said I have guys outside. For goodness sake. Guys.. pls stop your nonsense, telling me you love me or what COS I DON'T!! STOP WASTING YOUR EFFORTS!!! MFR!! I LOVE MY BABY ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT NOW!! IMMEASURABLE!!!
he got upset with me yesterday for not sharing what problems am I encountering, & going out in the middle of the night. Sighh.. Baby I'm sorry. I just can't explain myself yesterday. Sighh.. Hope relationship doesn't adds on to my problem. Which is one of the reason why I was soo reluctant to have it in the first place. Enough of problems Enough of troubles I AM VEXED ENOUGH!!!!! How much more life wants to Torture Me?! FREAKING HELL


Regarding some CB 'Friends' that I have. stop fking threatening me bcos you SUCKS!


now myself to fret. yesterday I took cab down to sch for PAcc lec. which in turn found out to be having problems myself. Paraniod? I do not know. but my chest, certain time I breathe in deeply, had seconds of out of breathe situation & giddyness. Whatever. Hungry now. Going out to buy Milo & Soh Ta Pia to run my day.


[FYI: Don't comment/talk to me abt this post. I will be fine. Don't worry about me because I wouldn't like it. It just adds on to my burden.]



Well.. It all occured together.
It is going to be a long day tmr. Duty Starts. and till 21 Dec.
Great Sense of War IS COMING!!! TSUNAMI!!!
(I bear no grudges I bear no hatred)

needs

PeiLing fallen sick yesterday.
Ain't know why. Slept throughout Macro lecture again. Couldn't take it anymore. Went home during PMktg class. Slept througout the day again.

2am came out to prawn. Cos Auntie Flora returning to Austrialia already. & the Aunties' want to eat the prawns I catch.
Apparently, don't know whether is it me or what, caught not much prawn.
Nonetheless, I believed I've recovered 90% already. Smile=))


As usual , Projects & Tutorials piling up my daily workload.
Listening to Titanic music now




// A short period creating memories//
Nevertheless.
Hope it remains this fresh everyday.

needs

phew.. just got home.
got quite uncomfortable in school. do not know why.
must be ytd's horfun. YUCKS. having a little of psychological prob w chocs too.
sigh.. couldn't finish studying. cuii..
guess i can never pull my previous GPA up already.
only if you were there..



anyway, someone is suggesting something to me.
hmmhmm.. Personally, I feel that you are immature leh.
you don't behave like any normal adults.
I think that somehow or rather, you think that you are in such a state all bcos of me. I made all those choices for you & that I owe you life. That you totally have no fault at all. Thinks that I must be together with you. You're not thinking that world is realistic. You are too dependent on him (father). You should wake up & take a proper look at this world, at yourself.
Everything human does, They have a choice. Every step they made leads them to something. No matter what it is, gd or bad, we must continue on life & quit whining (for so long).
Btw, There is only one person that I truly & only owe to. Its Her. Don't even probe.
[knowing you, you must be talking to yourself now & $%^$%$ me]
Whatever, I won't spend much time on this issue anymore. Disturbs & Irritates me.




Next up. Getting observant over family. Ever Since that heart prob that runs in my family. Increases my % of fear for close one leaving me.
My fear for stairs lessen.
Dislike Anonymous to advice me.
Tiredness Increases.
Stress level increase.
a thousand and one never-ending issues.





Cherishes

needs

I'm right afterall..
A total setback
A total trash back




tmr 8am Access test. wed BDD. i'd better do more CSC man..
next week test next next week test next next next week also test.
21 Dec - 3 Jan : 2 weeks break for projects.
Where shall I be at this countdown?
kind of stress out now. never do homework today. teacher kept tackling me.
save me..!! i need you!!!
currently in school revising for tmr's test.
something that i do not want..
wish me all the best..
am i doing the right thing? guide me pls.





(yet again, terrible)
loves Chibli

needs